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Spirituality Within...
Spirituality is our innate quality apart from what we are and what we have....
Monday, March 18, 2013
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
We Care...
Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You have had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you have written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they have said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still does not know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and does not stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend does not know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She did not succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we have NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. ♥
I Promised...
I promised myself that when it was over.
I'd laugh at the memories.
but here I am without a smile in sight.
I promised myself that I would call you.
....just to see if you were okay.
But here I am and I can't even dial your number.
I promised myself that when it was over.
I wouldn't shed a tear.
but here I am,shirt almost soaked.
I promised myself I would let you go gracefully.
but here I am,hating myself for letting you leave.
I promised myself that when it was over
I wouldn't look back.
but here I am unable to walk forward.
I promised myself I would say goodbye
but here I am,still waiting for you to come back.
(my friend)
Saturday, September 22, 2012
I LOVE YOU
I darely wanted to say you the word,
which thrilled my heart and mind
from the first day ever I saw you
I wanted in notion to tell you...
I dearly waited for the day to come
and with enthusiasm, bondage of deal
no longer more I could wait till now
Amazingly it haunted.." Now or Never"
waited a long journey of lonliness
lonely I ever felt before this day
full of glory, full of love and still..
in the midst of selfness to tell you
Tell you the truth, which comes from the feast..
tell you the word, which sparkled the sweet death
In a moment from moment to moment
I waited for the long to tell you...
So happening, so trustful, so glittering..
the orientation of trust, the word of oneness..
the music of the soul of the Beethoven
My love..!! with sacredness "I .... ..."
(5th Dec. 2009)
Thursday, September 20, 2012
I Miss You Mom
I Miss You Mom
Everyday I see you
Everyday I feel you
Every moment I miss
your beloved hand on my head..
Everyday I feel you
Every moment I miss
your beloved hand on my head..
Everyday I miss you
Everyday I listen you
Every moment I try
to gain strength in myself..
Everyday I listen you
Every moment I try
to gain strength in myself..
Everyday Mom, I talk
Everyday I search
Every moment I ask
Everyday I search
Every moment I ask
the Q about self..
I know you there
Always praying for my best
And promise I make..
Will do the "Best"
You gave me the word
You gave me the feelings
You gave me the feelings
I will try to make better
A real sentence of Life..
A real sentence of Life..
Promise that I make
You know it better
That strength you gave
Will find my truth..
Friday, April 6, 2012
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